HEY DIVA

Of recent, I’ve come to understand the rationale behind certain acts of the female gender, but what I’ve not come to understand is why some still choose to be victims of some certain acts despite the vast storage of information and public awareness at their disposal; let me explain.No man turns a monster over night except if there’s a spiritual manipulation somewhere in the unseen. I watch as the supposedly “girlfriends” get beaten up repeatedly by their supposedly “boyfriends” over little quarrels; I see them cry, scream, and get abused; and I see them clean their tears, nurse their wounds, vow not to go back again to that beast, only for them to go rushing off into his arms tomorrow when he comes knocking at their door begging for forgiveness and claiming it was the work of the devil. How long will they continue being STUPID (forgive my use of such harsh term) to deduce the basic fact that, if he can beat you to pulp now, give you these kind of bruises that Mary Kay and other foundation can’t cover up, even the sun shades you wear can’t cover the black eye you’ve now got as a result of his macho slaps and punches; that he’ll be a wife beater tomorrow?

Please don’t tell me it’s love, and that love is blind (probably it will get you blind one day if you don’t pack your bags and leave); because I know love doesn’t hurt.

I wonder where all their self esteem went to; I wonder if all the clothes and fine English they speak outside is just a show to camouflage how insecure ladies could be. How he tells you to dress is the way you dress; he chooses your friends and frowns upon those who tell you the obvious truths about him. Gosh!!! You’ve left him countless times, and you’ve come back to him countless times after he must acted his drama of how sorry he is and doesn’t know what came over him; hey Diva, don’t you have sense? Do you think you can’t survive without the little change you get from his wallet? Do you think you’ll be useless without him telling you want to do? I refuse to believe you’ve stooped so low with all your education and exposure, to swallow all these lies line, hole and sinker. You don’t need a prophet to lay hands on you and tell you he’s not going to change, that he’s going to beat you up again tomorrow. You’re wonderfully and fearfully made, why do you keep allowing that guy make your face so look so fiercesome? You think your relationship is facing a hard time today and will get better tomorrow; and everybody telling you to quit hates the fact that you have a guy to call your own? And maybe soon you both will be marching to the altar? Well let me spill the remaining beans; you must be a big fool for believing that, and a bigger fool for keeping grudge with whosoever that told you the truth.

And when he beats you up the next time like I know he’ll surely do, you start looking for who to tell your story, a friend who will lend her shoulder so you can cry on, you start looking for self-pity; my dear, stop deceiving yourself, it’s not love, my friend Obinna Okpara will always call it “rofe”. Stop deceiving yourself that you can change someone who has a behavior running in his blood, a genetic socio-behavioral disorder.  Enough of this rat race; doing same thing over and over again and expecting different result is total MADNESS.

Do something meaningful with your life. “Na only u waka kom”, your life is not tied to his’. Move on; you can do better for yourself. Please don’t let your fate be like my friend’s friend who refused to listen, and now she’s paying the price in the morgue with a knife hole in her chest.

And for you Mr. Handsome, am coming for you with your own piece.

#RantOver

#Gen. Sam

OLD FRIENDS

This is the piece I promised a senior friend of mine that I was going to write after I had concurred to his point of reasoning.

You see, people will always tell you “that’s the way I was created; that’s the way I am wired” as an excuse for a flaw they don’t want to admit. I thought I was the only one who noticed this habit in certain people, I didnt know there were other observant eyes too till my friend spoke up. I once told a friend that the reason why some people in your past are no longer in your present is because they no longer have any good role to play in your life; but in retrospect; I will like to state this fact, that some of your friends are no longer in your PRESENT doesn’t mean it was meant to be so; sometimes, we think some of this friends no longer have things offer, either because we moved out of that immediate vicinity, be it a club, school, church, neighborhood, office, be it anywhere, or any other reason we may conjure. Over the years, I’ve realised that there happens to be some of my  “friends” who we shared nice time, had serious fun, prayed together, ate together, shared dreams together too; some we even envisioned the future together, had big dreams and plans for it; friends I called brothers, friends I called sisters; friends that meant or should I say still means a great deal to me; but a pity I can’t say much about them now, not because I don’t want to, but because of the human nature. I know distance always has its toll on every relationship be it platonic or otherwise, I know communication always reduce it the absence of the communicating parties, but that doesn’t mean you should wait for the other party to say hi on whatsapp, bbm, Facebook, or any other social media or even a call or SMS; before you know you have to reciprocate; that doesn’t mean it should always be one party doing the calling and texting, that doesn’t mean that the burden of calling and remembering should always lay on one party. It’s becoming unbecoming; so many good friends who still have lots to offer ate gradually being lost and forgotten just because we were too busy to pick our phones and dial that number or even compose that message.

It’s a new year, and am sure your new year resolutions are already underway; but I beg you, please don’t forget old friends this year because you think you’ve outgrown them or you think they’ve outgrown their usefulness, please make that difference this year… Thanks.

 

#Gen. Sam

Don’t STOP!!!

When I first started writing on Facebook as an active writer, I would always jump off on my feet each time someone like my post or commented; and when nobody did, I would silently sulk in my corner. The good I’ve been doing over the years and I thought were unnoticed by people was actually infact, well acknowledged by observers.

You see, we work everyday with all our hearts, silently hoping that someone would notice and say at least a thank you. We burn ourselves out for the right cause hoping that someday, someone on earth (not until you’ve died and gone to heaven and Baba God will say well done my pikin), will acknowledge us; and so when nobody does, we sometimes feel we’ve been wasting our time, we feel it was useless trying to do something good for no personal gain. Well, recently, I’ve come to learn something about consistency.  Irrespective of the fact that we do what we do, not because we want anyone to applaud us; until we become very consistent at it, the fruit of our labour won’t really pay out. Don’t stop doing good because no one applauded your first work; don’t stop giving because no one gave you an award for philanthropy; don’t stop acting, singing and even writing because no one said you’re good at it; the world is watching, every other person around is observing; sometime very soon; someone will shock you with a statement, a public applauds, a recommendation for your consistency in that which you do. Don’t stop doing good because no one is appreciating you, don’t stop writing because no one clicked the like button or commented; don’t stop acting, singing or even dancing because no one gives you a thumps up; the truth of the matter is that there’re a lot of people who get ministered to, people who get blessed tremendously by that dance of yours, people who get motivated by those acts of yours, those articles of yours; that might not have the courage or opportunity to walk up to you and tell you that you’re doing a good deal of good.

Don’t stop doing good, you’re blessing and touching lives, even if they don’t tell you.

 

#You’reABlessingToSomeone

#Gen. Sam

The Race Against Time

And it dawned on me, as if I had just woken up from a deep slumber, that many had fallen back, many who started the race even before I thought I would become a runner in this race and many who started the same time I did. I looked around, and all I saw, was few people running. The few running, 45% of them were running outside their track, and while the remaining 55% were sweating and fighting hard to remain on their tracks. I saw many ahead of me, and also many still running along side with me. I caught up with many who had begun the race before I did, whose momentum for the race had declined. but the most painful and heartbreaking view was to see those who started with the same zeal and gusto as I did, at the rear or not even in the race any longer. Still pondering on what would have made these ones relent this way; some whom we’ve been looking up to, who in the actual sense of hierarchy were way up ahead of us; came running back. As I concentrated my gaze, I saw disappointment, discouragement and despair written on many’s face. Some said they no longer had any reason to remain in their tracks, to keep up with the race. I saw many falling under the weight of the stress of life, and some who wanted to enjoy the cheering and applauds from the crowd, stood aside to enjoy the fleeting fantasy; and were soon overtaken by others. While being carried away by the cheers from the crowd, many lost their batons and were pushed aside, a pity some of them didn’t survive to get back to the race. I still didn’t grab it all, so I decided to look further; and what I saw ahead baffled me. I saw men and women who had long began the race before I did still running; and along side them were discouragement, despair, disappointment, persecution, from family, friends and the society, beating and tackling them, yet they smiled more. Looking at the finish line and seeing the first runners who begun on this race, waiting with prices for each runner, they were able to outrun those challenges. Many were struck down as they ran and scaled the hurdles, yet they still rose and continued with more determination. As baffled as I was, how this men and women persevered, I looked behind and saw many entering the race and many leaving too. Some who were behind, who saw others exiting the race, gave up too, thinking there was no hope for them too. I looked around and saw many batons on the tracks; tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks in torrents. I asked myself WHY? But all I heard was tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. As I looked around to see where the sound was coming from, I saw a big wall clock, ticking; but the time was almost up. It remained only few seconds because it had already passed the 11^th hour and the umpire was about calling off the race. I got thinking, what would become of those who had left the race and the batons on the ground. It dawned on me that they were casualties of war (as the military would say).

I just realized there are those who haven’t even thought of entering the race, who it hasn’t even occurred to, that there is a race to run and a price to be won. Even as I read this, there are runners who are at the brink of dropping the baton; there are men and women who are loosing it. So to you, I say, just hold on, keep fighting, keep running, there is strength and grace where and when you think it doesn’t exist.

Many have asked me why I bear the name General; and this is the answer: We’re Last day’s soldiers, fighting the last day’s battle, and we don’t want to be caught in the cross fire. No negotiation with the enemy. We are not seasonal soldiers; we don’t fight and go for break. We fight in and out of seasons, praying, preaching, teaching and giving our way through. So hold your ground, keep running coz He lives in you….

You’re GOOD ENOUGH

Well I have a confession to make. When I was younger, I used to literarily clamour for acceptance. Acceptance into circles I thought that mattered. I always felt I had to be good enough to be some people’s friend, I had to be good enough to walk with some people. Though I wasn’t bugged by the inferiority complex syndrome, I still sought for public acceptance secretly even when I failed to admit it to myself.

That you don’t wear beautiful clothes as her doesn’t mean you’re not good enough to walk with her; that you ain’t from a so called polished background as him, doesn’t mean you have to stoop so low to be accepted; that doesn’t mean you have to doubt yourself and feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by allowing you be his/her friend. You’re in a relationship, and you think he’s too handsome, too good for you, you think you’re very lucky to be with him; you don’t see yourself as someone good enough to walk in his status. So when he tells you nonsense, you accept because you’re scared he might leave you. You’re scared he’ll leave you for another person if you say NO to his wishes; let me tell you this: YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH.

You’re always stalking in her shadows because you believe she’s got so much that you don’t and you don’t see yourself ever been good enough for her, you doubt yourself more than you ever doubt anyone else, well let me say this to you too, YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH.

No matter how beautiful, smart, handsome, bold, tall, outspoken you think he/she is, and you can’t measure up; well the truth of the matter is that you’re GOOD ENOUGH too.

Don’t let any one tell you otherwise, don’t let anyone white wash you into believing you’re not worth it. You’ve got something every other person doesn’t have; you’ve got something that sets you apart; so when that thought comes, and all you want to do is crave for public acceptance, silently beat your chest and say: I’M GOOD ENOUGH.

#I’mGoodEnough

#IknowWhoIAm

#Gen. Sam