OLD FRIENDS

This is the piece I promised a senior friend of mine that I was going to write after I had concurred to his point of reasoning.

You see, people will always tell you “that’s the way I was created; that’s the way I am wired” as an excuse for a flaw they don’t want to admit. I thought I was the only one who noticed this habit in certain people, I didnt know there were other observant eyes too till my friend spoke up. I once told a friend that the reason why some people in your past are no longer in your present is because they no longer have any good role to play in your life; but in retrospect; I will like to state this fact, that some of your friends are no longer in your PRESENT doesn’t mean it was meant to be so; sometimes, we think some of this friends no longer have things offer, either because we moved out of that immediate vicinity, be it a club, school, church, neighborhood, office, be it anywhere, or any other reason we may conjure. Over the years, I’ve realised that there happens to be some of my  “friends” who we shared nice time, had serious fun, prayed together, ate together, shared dreams together too; some we even envisioned the future together, had big dreams and plans for it; friends I called brothers, friends I called sisters; friends that meant or should I say still means a great deal to me; but a pity I can’t say much about them now, not because I don’t want to, but because of the human nature. I know distance always has its toll on every relationship be it platonic or otherwise, I know communication always reduce it the absence of the communicating parties, but that doesn’t mean you should wait for the other party to say hi on whatsapp, bbm, Facebook, or any other social media or even a call or SMS; before you know you have to reciprocate; that doesn’t mean it should always be one party doing the calling and texting, that doesn’t mean that the burden of calling and remembering should always lay on one party. It’s becoming unbecoming; so many good friends who still have lots to offer ate gradually being lost and forgotten just because we were too busy to pick our phones and dial that number or even compose that message.

It’s a new year, and am sure your new year resolutions are already underway; but I beg you, please don’t forget old friends this year because you think you’ve outgrown them or you think they’ve outgrown their usefulness, please make that difference this year… Thanks.

 

#Gen. Sam

Did I get It Wrong

I was meant to write something else, but my thoughts were on the meeting I had just finished from. My hands kept shaking as I typed the words that were fuming as thoughts in my mind. I couldn’t say a word but I knew all I just wanted to do was pour out my thoughts into letters.

Like they say, nobody is perfect, but that doesn’t stop us from doing more; from making an effort to be better. People around will never stop misunderstanding you, but that doesn’t mean you should keep doing what will make everyone misunderstand you. Feeling lost? Let me explain.

Sometimes, we do some certain things with good intentions, hoping to pass a message or create a certain impact, but the result turns out to be the opposite, and so, the people who we do this for tend to hit at us for that action. When you notice a particular occurrence that has become a norm in your life, probably, your big mouth which doesn’t hold words together, or your tongue which can’t present words in a civil manner, or the air of haughtiness which discourages everyone from advising or calling you to order, or your extravagant lifestyle which from all indication is leading you to doom, or whatever it is that people keep complaining about (please note that there’s a difference btw people envying you and people who love you and wish you to change a certain act); it’s an indication that that part of you, that occurrence is what is pushing people away. You cry to God, you ask people why do people hate me so much, why can’t I just keep steady friends, why can’t I just be loved like other people; take a pause, and see that which everyone is pointing at; it might be the “shit” that has stained your white linen and scaring everyone away because of its foul smell.

We all are working towards perfection, listen when people tell you THIS is a fault which you should work on. You never can tell if it’s what is stopping you from being employed, whether it’s what is keeping that dream husband from coming near, whether it’s what is keeping you from growing and maturing into what and who you’re meant to be. Not everyone hates you. Please listen and take correction.

#ListenAndGetItRight

#Gen. Sam

The Race Against Time

And it dawned on me, as if I had just woken up from a deep slumber, that many had fallen back, many who started the race even before I thought I would become a runner in this race and many who started the same time I did. I looked around, and all I saw, was few people running. The few running, 45% of them were running outside their track, and while the remaining 55% were sweating and fighting hard to remain on their tracks. I saw many ahead of me, and also many still running along side with me. I caught up with many who had begun the race before I did, whose momentum for the race had declined. but the most painful and heartbreaking view was to see those who started with the same zeal and gusto as I did, at the rear or not even in the race any longer. Still pondering on what would have made these ones relent this way; some whom we’ve been looking up to, who in the actual sense of hierarchy were way up ahead of us; came running back. As I concentrated my gaze, I saw disappointment, discouragement and despair written on many’s face. Some said they no longer had any reason to remain in their tracks, to keep up with the race. I saw many falling under the weight of the stress of life, and some who wanted to enjoy the cheering and applauds from the crowd, stood aside to enjoy the fleeting fantasy; and were soon overtaken by others. While being carried away by the cheers from the crowd, many lost their batons and were pushed aside, a pity some of them didn’t survive to get back to the race. I still didn’t grab it all, so I decided to look further; and what I saw ahead baffled me. I saw men and women who had long began the race before I did still running; and along side them were discouragement, despair, disappointment, persecution, from family, friends and the society, beating and tackling them, yet they smiled more. Looking at the finish line and seeing the first runners who begun on this race, waiting with prices for each runner, they were able to outrun those challenges. Many were struck down as they ran and scaled the hurdles, yet they still rose and continued with more determination. As baffled as I was, how this men and women persevered, I looked behind and saw many entering the race and many leaving too. Some who were behind, who saw others exiting the race, gave up too, thinking there was no hope for them too. I looked around and saw many batons on the tracks; tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks in torrents. I asked myself WHY? But all I heard was tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. As I looked around to see where the sound was coming from, I saw a big wall clock, ticking; but the time was almost up. It remained only few seconds because it had already passed the 11^th hour and the umpire was about calling off the race. I got thinking, what would become of those who had left the race and the batons on the ground. It dawned on me that they were casualties of war (as the military would say).

I just realized there are those who haven’t even thought of entering the race, who it hasn’t even occurred to, that there is a race to run and a price to be won. Even as I read this, there are runners who are at the brink of dropping the baton; there are men and women who are loosing it. So to you, I say, just hold on, keep fighting, keep running, there is strength and grace where and when you think it doesn’t exist.

Many have asked me why I bear the name General; and this is the answer: We’re Last day’s soldiers, fighting the last day’s battle, and we don’t want to be caught in the cross fire. No negotiation with the enemy. We are not seasonal soldiers; we don’t fight and go for break. We fight in and out of seasons, praying, preaching, teaching and giving our way through. So hold your ground, keep running coz He lives in you….

THE DUTY

The society we live in today is full of so many irregularities and abnormalities; so many ills and odds that would last us a lifetime, yet we cannot stop complaining about them. Each time you take a ride or walk through the streets, there’s always a reason to sigh, yet we can’t deny the fact that out of these elements on the streets, several good ones have emerged. When I was a kid, my dad made it a point of duty to always remind, me how less fortunate those on the streets are, to have the kind of meals I have, the kind of clothes I wear and the kind of education I’m getting. This brought me to the early realization that I’m not much different from those on the street, from those we brand the ‘despicable elements of the society’, from those we conclude, are a nuisance and menace to the society and should be sequestered to an improvised institution where they won’t be a threat to anybody, or better still, set up a settlement for them somewhere on the outskirts of our cities.

Nevertheless, the truth be told, we are so much in a hurry to brand problems than we are, to proffer solutions. If we would be truthful to ourselves, we would come to reconcile with the fact that these ones we brand as menace, abnormal and odds of the society are so, not because it is the role the society has given them to play and are happy playing it; rather, because there’s no other choice; to them, you are either branded as menace or die in the dungeon of penury. Choice is only possible when there are two or multiple options available, an alternative to choose from.

If these ones have only one option, and it is to survive amidst all odds, and they go out in their respective ways to do so, which at the end of the day affects the society in one way or the other; then we who are in our right mind and are the ‘responsible’ ones in the society, have a sacred duty to perform. If we could get an x-ray to tell us how these ones, the so-called ‘despicable of the society’ feel about us; we would see that they not only envy us, but also are jealous of the lifestyle we lead. They watch the news, they read the papers, the watch movies too, and definitely, they know the trend. They know that there are better places to live in than the gutters and slums they have known all their lives; they know that there are better clothes to put on than the rags they’ve been used to; they know that there is more to what life has to offer than the meager stipends they’ve been used to; they know that there are better cars to drive than the commuter buses they lord over in ‘tout-ship’, ‘agbero-ship’ and ‘alaye-ship’. Therefore, would want to covet such good things. Though the economists and capitalists might argue that there is a need to have this class of people, to maintain a virtual balance between the rich, average and the poor; a balance between the wanted and the unwanted, the liked and the despicable in the society; but I tell you, nobody can tell you the pains of a wounded soldier more than the soldier himself; you might make a good effort at attempting, but you can’t paint a clear picture of the pain.

If we take a closer look at ‘ourselves’, we would realize that we are living our lives, based on the ethics, morals, examples and footmarks of our fore runners, those who ran ahead of us. ‘We’ have legacies to copy from. However, what have ‘they’? Therefore, here comes the sacred task. Enough of complains and branding, become part of the solution; enough of being a critic of problems and start becoming a creator of opportunities. These ones are looking for someone to teach them the ropes, someone to show them the way to what we call civilization, someone to take the lead and they would follow, someone to give them another option than they’ve been used to, someone to re-orient them and tell them what to do, someone who would give their lives a meaning and not exploit them as tools or prawns of violence and sexual gratification. That person could be you reading this. So why don’t you take the lead and become an example for others to follow today?

That’s the DUTY.

#BeTheChangeYouWantToSee

#Gen. Sam

You’re GOOD ENOUGH

Well I have a confession to make. When I was younger, I used to literarily clamour for acceptance. Acceptance into circles I thought that mattered. I always felt I had to be good enough to be some people’s friend, I had to be good enough to walk with some people. Though I wasn’t bugged by the inferiority complex syndrome, I still sought for public acceptance secretly even when I failed to admit it to myself.

That you don’t wear beautiful clothes as her doesn’t mean you’re not good enough to walk with her; that you ain’t from a so called polished background as him, doesn’t mean you have to stoop so low to be accepted; that doesn’t mean you have to doubt yourself and feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by allowing you be his/her friend. You’re in a relationship, and you think he’s too handsome, too good for you, you think you’re very lucky to be with him; you don’t see yourself as someone good enough to walk in his status. So when he tells you nonsense, you accept because you’re scared he might leave you. You’re scared he’ll leave you for another person if you say NO to his wishes; let me tell you this: YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH.

You’re always stalking in her shadows because you believe she’s got so much that you don’t and you don’t see yourself ever been good enough for her, you doubt yourself more than you ever doubt anyone else, well let me say this to you too, YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH.

No matter how beautiful, smart, handsome, bold, tall, outspoken you think he/she is, and you can’t measure up; well the truth of the matter is that you’re GOOD ENOUGH too.

Don’t let any one tell you otherwise, don’t let anyone white wash you into believing you’re not worth it. You’ve got something every other person doesn’t have; you’ve got something that sets you apart; so when that thought comes, and all you want to do is crave for public acceptance, silently beat your chest and say: I’M GOOD ENOUGH.

#I’mGoodEnough

#IknowWhoIAm

#Gen. Sam