OLD FRIENDS

This is the piece I promised a senior friend of mine that I was going to write after I had concurred to his point of reasoning.

You see, people will always tell you “that’s the way I was created; that’s the way I am wired” as an excuse for a flaw they don’t want to admit. I thought I was the only one who noticed this habit in certain people, I didnt know there were other observant eyes too till my friend spoke up. I once told a friend that the reason why some people in your past are no longer in your present is because they no longer have any good role to play in your life; but in retrospect; I will like to state this fact, that some of your friends are no longer in your PRESENT doesn’t mean it was meant to be so; sometimes, we think some of this friends no longer have things offer, either because we moved out of that immediate vicinity, be it a club, school, church, neighborhood, office, be it anywhere, or any other reason we may conjure. Over the years, I’ve realised that there happens to be some of my  “friends” who we shared nice time, had serious fun, prayed together, ate together, shared dreams together too; some we even envisioned the future together, had big dreams and plans for it; friends I called brothers, friends I called sisters; friends that meant or should I say still means a great deal to me; but a pity I can’t say much about them now, not because I don’t want to, but because of the human nature. I know distance always has its toll on every relationship be it platonic or otherwise, I know communication always reduce it the absence of the communicating parties, but that doesn’t mean you should wait for the other party to say hi on whatsapp, bbm, Facebook, or any other social media or even a call or SMS; before you know you have to reciprocate; that doesn’t mean it should always be one party doing the calling and texting, that doesn’t mean that the burden of calling and remembering should always lay on one party. It’s becoming unbecoming; so many good friends who still have lots to offer ate gradually being lost and forgotten just because we were too busy to pick our phones and dial that number or even compose that message.

It’s a new year, and am sure your new year resolutions are already underway; but I beg you, please don’t forget old friends this year because you think you’ve outgrown them or you think they’ve outgrown their usefulness, please make that difference this year… Thanks.

 

#Gen. Sam

The Checklist

My phone has been getting unnecessarily hot these days, and as such, has resulted in my battery draining a lot faster than normal. I couldn’t keep carrying my charger in the bag everywhere I go, so I decided to find out what was wrong. In the background, were unnecessary applications running on its own accord, applications and games which contributed little or zero percent to the efficacy of my phone, and which, more annoyingly was draining my battery power. I force stopped this applications, and now, my phone power consumption is back to normal; occasionally, I would go back to my app settings to check which application wasn’t contributing to my phone’s well being, and I would discard it.

LESSONS LEARNT:

Socrates once said that a a life which is not regularly examined is not worth living. Once in a while, there’s need for us to pause, have a sober reflection , go through our friends list and see who is who. After I had stopped being part of the crowd and started being who I was meant to be, I came to realise that there were some particular group of friends whom after haven visited, I felt drained and empty, I felt so out of place; I realised these ones, at every conversation added not even an iota of positive thought/influence to me. These ones kept draining my purpose battery power. They were my friends, some, childhood friends, some, I met as I grew older. And on the other hand, I noticed that there were some friends, whether older or peer, who at each conversation, something meaningful was added to my life; I realised that I kept on looking forward to meeting these friends, I realised that I looked forward to spending much time with them even though I wasn’t getting any material thing in return. Spending time with them shaped my thought pattern; my ideologies and philosophy about life changed; and it dawned on me these friends were playing alot more positive role in my life that I could care to admit.  So in other to preserve more battery life, I started curtailing the company of friends that I allowed into my circle, friends I spent much time with; I discarded the ones who kept draining me; I opened my arms to the ones who brought out the best in me.

You see, there are certain friends in whose company you would always see nothing but the negative part of you; friends who will always bring out the worst in you, and you’ll keep wondering, “am I this naughty, am I this wild, am I this purposeless?” And there are friends, in whose company you would always see yourself improving, discussing multi million ideas, discussing live changing projects, analysing and debating issues that matter. I would always tell my friend Kristiana Imeh, that the day I stop adding positively to your life, the day I stop being a positive influence; that day, know that I’ve outlived my usefulness to you; that day I stop being your friend.

So please, like I do to my phone, always discard the applications (friends) that keeps draining you. Though that doesn’t mean that you can’t reach out to them and be an agent of change in their lives; but in the process of doing so, don’t get dragged down in the same pit you laboured to crawl out from.

#AWordIsEnoughForTheWise

#KnowYourFriends

#Gen. Sam

You’re GOOD ENOUGH

Well I have a confession to make. When I was younger, I used to literarily clamour for acceptance. Acceptance into circles I thought that mattered. I always felt I had to be good enough to be some people’s friend, I had to be good enough to walk with some people. Though I wasn’t bugged by the inferiority complex syndrome, I still sought for public acceptance secretly even when I failed to admit it to myself.

That you don’t wear beautiful clothes as her doesn’t mean you’re not good enough to walk with her; that you ain’t from a so called polished background as him, doesn’t mean you have to stoop so low to be accepted; that doesn’t mean you have to doubt yourself and feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by allowing you be his/her friend. You’re in a relationship, and you think he’s too handsome, too good for you, you think you’re very lucky to be with him; you don’t see yourself as someone good enough to walk in his status. So when he tells you nonsense, you accept because you’re scared he might leave you. You’re scared he’ll leave you for another person if you say NO to his wishes; let me tell you this: YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH.

You’re always stalking in her shadows because you believe she’s got so much that you don’t and you don’t see yourself ever been good enough for her, you doubt yourself more than you ever doubt anyone else, well let me say this to you too, YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH.

No matter how beautiful, smart, handsome, bold, tall, outspoken you think he/she is, and you can’t measure up; well the truth of the matter is that you’re GOOD ENOUGH too.

Don’t let any one tell you otherwise, don’t let anyone white wash you into believing you’re not worth it. You’ve got something every other person doesn’t have; you’ve got something that sets you apart; so when that thought comes, and all you want to do is crave for public acceptance, silently beat your chest and say: I’M GOOD ENOUGH.

#I’mGoodEnough

#IknowWhoIAm

#Gen. Sam