OLD FRIENDS

This is the piece I promised a senior friend of mine that I was going to write after I had concurred to his point of reasoning.

You see, people will always tell you “that’s the way I was created; that’s the way I am wired” as an excuse for a flaw they don’t want to admit. I thought I was the only one who noticed this habit in certain people, I didnt know there were other observant eyes too till my friend spoke up. I once told a friend that the reason why some people in your past are no longer in your present is because they no longer have any good role to play in your life; but in retrospect; I will like to state this fact, that some of your friends are no longer in your PRESENT doesn’t mean it was meant to be so; sometimes, we think some of this friends no longer have things offer, either because we moved out of that immediate vicinity, be it a club, school, church, neighborhood, office, be it anywhere, or any other reason we may conjure. Over the years, I’ve realised that there happens to be some of my  “friends” who we shared nice time, had serious fun, prayed together, ate together, shared dreams together too; some we even envisioned the future together, had big dreams and plans for it; friends I called brothers, friends I called sisters; friends that meant or should I say still means a great deal to me; but a pity I can’t say much about them now, not because I don’t want to, but because of the human nature. I know distance always has its toll on every relationship be it platonic or otherwise, I know communication always reduce it the absence of the communicating parties, but that doesn’t mean you should wait for the other party to say hi on whatsapp, bbm, Facebook, or any other social media or even a call or SMS; before you know you have to reciprocate; that doesn’t mean it should always be one party doing the calling and texting, that doesn’t mean that the burden of calling and remembering should always lay on one party. It’s becoming unbecoming; so many good friends who still have lots to offer ate gradually being lost and forgotten just because we were too busy to pick our phones and dial that number or even compose that message.

It’s a new year, and am sure your new year resolutions are already underway; but I beg you, please don’t forget old friends this year because you think you’ve outgrown them or you think they’ve outgrown their usefulness, please make that difference this year… Thanks.

 

#Gen. Sam

Did I get It Wrong

I was meant to write something else, but my thoughts were on the meeting I had just finished from. My hands kept shaking as I typed the words that were fuming as thoughts in my mind. I couldn’t say a word but I knew all I just wanted to do was pour out my thoughts into letters.

Like they say, nobody is perfect, but that doesn’t stop us from doing more; from making an effort to be better. People around will never stop misunderstanding you, but that doesn’t mean you should keep doing what will make everyone misunderstand you. Feeling lost? Let me explain.

Sometimes, we do some certain things with good intentions, hoping to pass a message or create a certain impact, but the result turns out to be the opposite, and so, the people who we do this for tend to hit at us for that action. When you notice a particular occurrence that has become a norm in your life, probably, your big mouth which doesn’t hold words together, or your tongue which can’t present words in a civil manner, or the air of haughtiness which discourages everyone from advising or calling you to order, or your extravagant lifestyle which from all indication is leading you to doom, or whatever it is that people keep complaining about (please note that there’s a difference btw people envying you and people who love you and wish you to change a certain act); it’s an indication that that part of you, that occurrence is what is pushing people away. You cry to God, you ask people why do people hate me so much, why can’t I just keep steady friends, why can’t I just be loved like other people; take a pause, and see that which everyone is pointing at; it might be the “shit” that has stained your white linen and scaring everyone away because of its foul smell.

We all are working towards perfection, listen when people tell you THIS is a fault which you should work on. You never can tell if it’s what is stopping you from being employed, whether it’s what is keeping that dream husband from coming near, whether it’s what is keeping you from growing and maturing into what and who you’re meant to be. Not everyone hates you. Please listen and take correction.

#ListenAndGetItRight

#Gen. Sam

Letter to the Fathers

To the fathers who would come back home drunk and abuse their children with words and blows. To the fathers who would come back home and beat up their wives just because they dared to say the truth. To the fathers who would insult and disgrace the mother of their children in public just because He wants to show that He is the man. To the fathers who have never been there for their sons and daughters, who would prefer to spend more time with his friends outside in the bar, than come home to his wife and kids. To the fathers who never even knew when their daughters became women, and their sons, men. To the fathers who after they have lost their jobs would come home drunk and beat up everybody at home. To the fathers who were strangers to their kids until they grew up and left home. To the fathers who are never home to answer their kids call them ‘daddy’ and ‘papa’. To the fathers who never did their homework and so let their sons and daughters pay the price in brothels and prisons. To the fathers who were never able to say I’m sorry to their kids. To the fathers who became enemies to their kids even after they left home. To the fathers who their wives were the so-called witches that denied them of their much-wanted progress. To the fathers who left home and never turned back, leaving the kids to be catered for by their mother. To the fathers who denied and walked out on their kids because of their mothers, even when they needed them most. To all fathers, this is a letter from your sons and daughters:
“We want to be the best we can be in the future, but we need a guide if we will make it. We don’t want our faces to end up on the ‘Crime Fighter’ scenes, so we beg you to groom us well. We are tired of the names they call the girls hanging by roadsides, the disgusting name they call the boys in the hood, so we plead that you teach us well. We know the economy is bad, but it should not stop you from loving us and respecting our mothers. Don’t beat us up in your frustration, lest we grow up to be like you. We might be naughty today, but if you will spoil the rod and spare the child, we promise to make you proud tomorrow. So please, don’t let us down today”.

Responsibility

My eyes were glued to the disturbing scene even as I watched from my seat beside the window. I watched as the angry mob in fury, descended on the innocent looking boy for an act he had just perpetuated few minutes ago. He begged and cried for mercy, pleading that it was his first time and actually blamed the devil for leading him into the act, yet the blows and punches kept on landing on him like heavy balls of snow. What was his crime! He snatched an old woman’s phone. I was moved to tears as I watched the angry mob transfer their age-long frustration on him, and believe me, I was already alighting from the bus to see if I could dissuade some members of the mob from causing more harm. Luckily for him, some concerned onlookers beat me to it and started pleading on his behalf. Few drops of tears escaped my eyelids as I thought about what must have pushed this young man who was barely 20years old to be a pick pocket. I wonder whose fault it was, who was to blame for him being on the streets. As I thought about all these, my worry took a different turn.

They say we are who we are today because of the choices we made yesterday; but I ask, who influences this choice most?

The family is the first unit/institution responsible for a child’s upbringing and not the school, but as I write this, I can’t vouch that the ‘family sector’ has been up to task in this present dispensation. We watch our parents fight in front of us, exchange blows as if we aren’t even there, we watch as our fathers come home drunk and spent; as our mothers insult the living daylights out of our fathers in the street. We bear the brunt, the heat at home whenever there’s a friction between our parents. We are now pressured and cajoled into being productive as our peers who flaunt their latest collection of clothes, accessories and rides around the neighbourhood. While trying to sort out their own differences, our parents most times pay less attention to how we go about this struggle. The society expects us to be productive and responsible, but like I said, little attention is paid to how we do that.

Walking through the streets in the night, I see different girls or would I call them ladies standing by posts and piers whistling at passer-by with the intention of marketing/selling their wares, and this leaves me wondering, how did it get this bad? Were our mothers too busy in the kitchen that they forgot to keep an eye on their daughters? What were they doing when these daughters left the house for the life on the streets? Or was there no longer a “house” a “home” to shield them? Or was it the only choice left?

I also observe the movement of some boys/men whose eyes continue to dart around parks and shady corners of the street looking for their next victim; so I get myself thinking, is this the way forward to been better fathers of tomorrow? You know, fathers have refused to man up, to take up the responsibility of making better sons; mothers have refused to take the bull by the horns squarely and make better ladies out of their daughters and keep them off the street; sons have refused to take the hustle slow, but the fastest and shortest way off the street, daughters have gone hay-wire trying to keep up with the latest trend such that they’ve forgotten they were made to be mothers. At this crossroad, I’m asking a question that is begging for an answer: “who are we to blame”? If we blame our parents for today, when tomorrow comes, and we start having issues with absent fatherhood and overbearing motherhood, who do we blame then?

#ThoughtForTodayFoodForTomorrow

#IChooseToBeResponsible