OLD FRIENDS

This is the piece I promised a senior friend of mine that I was going to write after I had concurred to his point of reasoning.

You see, people will always tell you “that’s the way I was created; that’s the way I am wired” as an excuse for a flaw they don’t want to admit. I thought I was the only one who noticed this habit in certain people, I didnt know there were other observant eyes too till my friend spoke up. I once told a friend that the reason why some people in your past are no longer in your present is because they no longer have any good role to play in your life; but in retrospect; I will like to state this fact, that some of your friends are no longer in your PRESENT doesn’t mean it was meant to be so; sometimes, we think some of this friends no longer have things offer, either because we moved out of that immediate vicinity, be it a club, school, church, neighborhood, office, be it anywhere, or any other reason we may conjure. Over the years, I’ve realised that there happens to be some of my  “friends” who we shared nice time, had serious fun, prayed together, ate together, shared dreams together too; some we even envisioned the future together, had big dreams and plans for it; friends I called brothers, friends I called sisters; friends that meant or should I say still means a great deal to me; but a pity I can’t say much about them now, not because I don’t want to, but because of the human nature. I know distance always has its toll on every relationship be it platonic or otherwise, I know communication always reduce it the absence of the communicating parties, but that doesn’t mean you should wait for the other party to say hi on whatsapp, bbm, Facebook, or any other social media or even a call or SMS; before you know you have to reciprocate; that doesn’t mean it should always be one party doing the calling and texting, that doesn’t mean that the burden of calling and remembering should always lay on one party. It’s becoming unbecoming; so many good friends who still have lots to offer ate gradually being lost and forgotten just because we were too busy to pick our phones and dial that number or even compose that message.

It’s a new year, and am sure your new year resolutions are already underway; but I beg you, please don’t forget old friends this year because you think you’ve outgrown them or you think they’ve outgrown their usefulness, please make that difference this year… Thanks.

 

#Gen. Sam

Did I get It Wrong

I was meant to write something else, but my thoughts were on the meeting I had just finished from. My hands kept shaking as I typed the words that were fuming as thoughts in my mind. I couldn’t say a word but I knew all I just wanted to do was pour out my thoughts into letters.

Like they say, nobody is perfect, but that doesn’t stop us from doing more; from making an effort to be better. People around will never stop misunderstanding you, but that doesn’t mean you should keep doing what will make everyone misunderstand you. Feeling lost? Let me explain.

Sometimes, we do some certain things with good intentions, hoping to pass a message or create a certain impact, but the result turns out to be the opposite, and so, the people who we do this for tend to hit at us for that action. When you notice a particular occurrence that has become a norm in your life, probably, your big mouth which doesn’t hold words together, or your tongue which can’t present words in a civil manner, or the air of haughtiness which discourages everyone from advising or calling you to order, or your extravagant lifestyle which from all indication is leading you to doom, or whatever it is that people keep complaining about (please note that there’s a difference btw people envying you and people who love you and wish you to change a certain act); it’s an indication that that part of you, that occurrence is what is pushing people away. You cry to God, you ask people why do people hate me so much, why can’t I just keep steady friends, why can’t I just be loved like other people; take a pause, and see that which everyone is pointing at; it might be the “shit” that has stained your white linen and scaring everyone away because of its foul smell.

We all are working towards perfection, listen when people tell you THIS is a fault which you should work on. You never can tell if it’s what is stopping you from being employed, whether it’s what is keeping that dream husband from coming near, whether it’s what is keeping you from growing and maturing into what and who you’re meant to be. Not everyone hates you. Please listen and take correction.

#ListenAndGetItRight

#Gen. Sam

The Checklist

My phone has been getting unnecessarily hot these days, and as such, has resulted in my battery draining a lot faster than normal. I couldn’t keep carrying my charger in the bag everywhere I go, so I decided to find out what was wrong. In the background, were unnecessary applications running on its own accord, applications and games which contributed little or zero percent to the efficacy of my phone, and which, more annoyingly was draining my battery power. I force stopped this applications, and now, my phone power consumption is back to normal; occasionally, I would go back to my app settings to check which application wasn’t contributing to my phone’s well being, and I would discard it.

LESSONS LEARNT:

Socrates once said that a a life which is not regularly examined is not worth living. Once in a while, there’s need for us to pause, have a sober reflection , go through our friends list and see who is who. After I had stopped being part of the crowd and started being who I was meant to be, I came to realise that there were some particular group of friends whom after haven visited, I felt drained and empty, I felt so out of place; I realised these ones, at every conversation added not even an iota of positive thought/influence to me. These ones kept draining my purpose battery power. They were my friends, some, childhood friends, some, I met as I grew older. And on the other hand, I noticed that there were some friends, whether older or peer, who at each conversation, something meaningful was added to my life; I realised that I kept on looking forward to meeting these friends, I realised that I looked forward to spending much time with them even though I wasn’t getting any material thing in return. Spending time with them shaped my thought pattern; my ideologies and philosophy about life changed; and it dawned on me these friends were playing alot more positive role in my life that I could care to admit.  So in other to preserve more battery life, I started curtailing the company of friends that I allowed into my circle, friends I spent much time with; I discarded the ones who kept draining me; I opened my arms to the ones who brought out the best in me.

You see, there are certain friends in whose company you would always see nothing but the negative part of you; friends who will always bring out the worst in you, and you’ll keep wondering, “am I this naughty, am I this wild, am I this purposeless?” And there are friends, in whose company you would always see yourself improving, discussing multi million ideas, discussing live changing projects, analysing and debating issues that matter. I would always tell my friend Kristiana Imeh, that the day I stop adding positively to your life, the day I stop being a positive influence; that day, know that I’ve outlived my usefulness to you; that day I stop being your friend.

So please, like I do to my phone, always discard the applications (friends) that keeps draining you. Though that doesn’t mean that you can’t reach out to them and be an agent of change in their lives; but in the process of doing so, don’t get dragged down in the same pit you laboured to crawl out from.

#AWordIsEnoughForTheWise

#KnowYourFriends

#Gen. Sam

The Race Against Time

And it dawned on me, as if I had just woken up from a deep slumber, that many had fallen back, many who started the race even before I thought I would become a runner in this race and many who started the same time I did. I looked around, and all I saw, was few people running. The few running, 45% of them were running outside their track, and while the remaining 55% were sweating and fighting hard to remain on their tracks. I saw many ahead of me, and also many still running along side with me. I caught up with many who had begun the race before I did, whose momentum for the race had declined. but the most painful and heartbreaking view was to see those who started with the same zeal and gusto as I did, at the rear or not even in the race any longer. Still pondering on what would have made these ones relent this way; some whom we’ve been looking up to, who in the actual sense of hierarchy were way up ahead of us; came running back. As I concentrated my gaze, I saw disappointment, discouragement and despair written on many’s face. Some said they no longer had any reason to remain in their tracks, to keep up with the race. I saw many falling under the weight of the stress of life, and some who wanted to enjoy the cheering and applauds from the crowd, stood aside to enjoy the fleeting fantasy; and were soon overtaken by others. While being carried away by the cheers from the crowd, many lost their batons and were pushed aside, a pity some of them didn’t survive to get back to the race. I still didn’t grab it all, so I decided to look further; and what I saw ahead baffled me. I saw men and women who had long began the race before I did still running; and along side them were discouragement, despair, disappointment, persecution, from family, friends and the society, beating and tackling them, yet they smiled more. Looking at the finish line and seeing the first runners who begun on this race, waiting with prices for each runner, they were able to outrun those challenges. Many were struck down as they ran and scaled the hurdles, yet they still rose and continued with more determination. As baffled as I was, how this men and women persevered, I looked behind and saw many entering the race and many leaving too. Some who were behind, who saw others exiting the race, gave up too, thinking there was no hope for them too. I looked around and saw many batons on the tracks; tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks in torrents. I asked myself WHY? But all I heard was tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. As I looked around to see where the sound was coming from, I saw a big wall clock, ticking; but the time was almost up. It remained only few seconds because it had already passed the 11^th hour and the umpire was about calling off the race. I got thinking, what would become of those who had left the race and the batons on the ground. It dawned on me that they were casualties of war (as the military would say).

I just realized there are those who haven’t even thought of entering the race, who it hasn’t even occurred to, that there is a race to run and a price to be won. Even as I read this, there are runners who are at the brink of dropping the baton; there are men and women who are loosing it. So to you, I say, just hold on, keep fighting, keep running, there is strength and grace where and when you think it doesn’t exist.

Many have asked me why I bear the name General; and this is the answer: We’re Last day’s soldiers, fighting the last day’s battle, and we don’t want to be caught in the cross fire. No negotiation with the enemy. We are not seasonal soldiers; we don’t fight and go for break. We fight in and out of seasons, praying, preaching, teaching and giving our way through. So hold your ground, keep running coz He lives in you….